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Post by Aloysius on Mar 17, 2010 22:19:52 GMT -5
It was the day after Aloysius had woken up in the hospital after being saved by Aimee from Caspian and Genevieve. He had had a terrible, restless sleep filled with nightmares that he was back in that prison. He'd woken up in a fit of panic and it took Aimee nearly an hour to calm him down.
Since then he hadn't spoken much. He felt agitated and uncomfortable. It all just seemed so surreal. Like he was dreaming, and he could wake up any second to find he was still in that room. This didn't feel real. It felt wrong. He felt wrong.
He laid in bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. It was white. He tried to make his mind as blank as that ceiling. To not think or feel anything. After all, he didn't have any happy thoughts or feelings anymore.
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Post by Aimee on Mar 17, 2010 22:25:59 GMT -5
Aimee wasn't in the room for a moment, to pick up lunch for both her and Aloysius. As she was bringing up the tray with a meal for two on it, she thought about Aloysius. She was really worried about him, worried that he'd never be the same again. She tried to stay positive, but it was hard.
She stood behind the hospital room door, sucked in a deep breath of air then came inside. "Honey?" she said quietly. "I brought up lunch."
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 17, 2010 22:39:55 GMT -5
Aloysius flinched when Aimee spoke to him suddenly, snapped out of his staring contest with the ceiling. He hadn't even remembered she'd left the room. "Lunch?" he repeated quietly, as if lunch were a foreign concept to him. When was the last time he'd eaten? The hospital hadn't been able to give him anything yesterday since he'd been unconscious most of the time. It had to've been...several days at least. Caspian and Genevieve only ever fed him enough to keep him from starving to death. And even then, it was never anything decent.
Aimee carried to tray of food over and sat at his bedside. Aloysius tentively took a little bite, uncomfortably aware of Aimee watching him closely, as if she were expecting something.
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Post by Aimee on Mar 18, 2010 0:27:42 GMT -5
Aimee took her seat near Aloysius' bed, and watched him eat in silence. She noticed his look then looked away. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to stare." She took her own plate of food into her lap, and ate slowly.
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 18, 2010 1:23:02 GMT -5
"I-it's okay, Aimee," Aloysius stuttered. He didn't want Aimee to feel bad. He hated feeling so awkward around her, but he didn't know how to act or what to say. He just wanted to pretend like everything was normal, but how could he do that when he didn't even know what normal was anymore?
Now that Aloysius wasn't keeping his mind blissfully blank anymore, dark thoughts he couldn't control were starting to sneak into his mind. After everything that had happened, how could he ever know who he could trust again? He tried to stop thinking about it, but he couldn't. Did he...did he even know if he could trust Aimee?
Stop, he told himself desperately. I can trust her. She wouldn't hurt me. She'd never. She wouldn't.
But the person who had done this to Aloysius, who had destroyed him mentally and physically, had been his best friend, his family even. He had trusted him wholeheartedly.
And look what happened.
But no. Aimee wouldn't. She was his fiancee. She was...she was having his baby, he suddenly remembered. His eyes slowly traveled over to her. That was right. Aimee was pregnant. He thought he remembered Caspian telling him...or had that been a dream? He wasn't sure, and he didn't want to think back to try and figure it out.
"Aimee," he said tentatively, after being lost in his own head for several moments. "Can I ask you something...?"
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Post by Aimee on Mar 18, 2010 19:51:56 GMT -5
Aimee glanced back up at him, opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. She wasn't sure what she should say, so instead she gave him a small smile, a nod, then looked back down at the plate in her lap. That was when she started to get lost in her own thoughts.
What if Aloysius never got better? He would heal physically of course, but what if he continued on like this for the rest of their lives together? Scared and untrusting. She'd still love him, and care for him, but they wouldn't be living a normal life.
And what about their baby? What was she going to do? Should she tell him? Would she ever be able to tell him? Or would she have to wait until you could definitely tell she was pregnant? How would she tell him? What was she going to do?
Aimee glanced back up at her fiance when he spoke to her. "Hm?" She asked, breaking out of her own head. "Oh, yeah...what is it?"
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 18, 2010 23:39:45 GMT -5
"Are--are you pregnant?" Aloysius asked so quietly it was almost a whisper. A while ago, the thought that Aimee might've been pregnant would've brought him nothing but joy. Now...the thought terrified him. Like everything else. How would he be able to take care of a helpless baby when he couldn't even take care of himself?
But no...that was a long way away, if it was true. He'd be better by then. He had to be. He would force himself to get better if he had to. Somehow. Even if it seemed impossible now, he had to...
Realizing he was getting lost inside his head again, he made himself snap out of it and look at Aimee, awaiting her answer.
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Post by Aimee on Mar 18, 2010 23:53:04 GMT -5
Aimee's eyes widened in surprise. "H-how did you know?" Then she realized, Caspian must have told him. Then she got scared again, she had been in that house with Caspian, what if he had wanted to do things to her? What if he had? He would have hurt...maybe even killed the baby! And Aimee had no idea that it could have happened. "I...wanted to tell you myself..."
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 19, 2010 0:20:09 GMT -5
"I'd...rather've heard it from you..." Aloysius mumbled, a dark look passing over his face mometnarily as he involuntarily remembered parts of that day. That had been the day--or close to the day--that Caspian had...done things to him, the first time.
He shoved that thought forcefully out of his mind (he didn't want to think about it EVER) and made himself focus instead on the conversation he was having here and now. About the baby. Their baby. "S-so, you really are...?" he asked. "With my...?"
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Post by Aimee on Mar 19, 2010 0:23:23 GMT -5
Aimee nodded, then she smiled very slightly. "Yes," she replied. "We're finally pregnant...just like we've been trying." She wasn't sure if Aloysius was going to feel excited or not. She hoped that he would, oh how she hoped.
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 19, 2010 0:35:09 GMT -5
"A...are you scared at all?" Aloysius asked tentatively, sort of seeking reassurance from Aimee. Not long ago he'd been more than ready for this. Now he was the furthest possible thing from ready in the entire world. He wasn't ready for anything, let alone something major like this.
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Post by Aimee on Mar 19, 2010 1:21:45 GMT -5
"No," Aimee replied. "No, I don't think I am scared." Then she bit her bottom lip, "But I'm worried about you..." She frowned. "I don't want you to hurt anymore Aloysius." Her frown turned into a sad one, and she watched Aloysius. "I wish," she said. "That I could take all the bad away...and make everything okay again."
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 19, 2010 1:41:54 GMT -5
Aloysius stared at her for a second, and then looked away. "I wish you could too," he said solemnly. If only wishing was all it would take. It was going to take a lot more than wishful thinking to get him to get over th things that had happened in that prison-room. Of course, Aimee didn't even know half of what had happened in there, and he wasn't planning on telling her.
"But Aimee, I'm afraid," he went back to the subject of the baby. "What if I can't protect our baby? What...what if I let something horrible happen to them?"
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Post by Aimee on Mar 19, 2010 2:49:09 GMT -5
"Aloysius," Aimee said softly. "When our baby is born, whether you're ready or not, you'll be the best father and protecter any child could ask for." She reached out slowly then tucked some of the hair behind his ear. "And don't you doubt that for one second."
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Post by Aloysius on Mar 19, 2010 3:23:02 GMT -5
But Aloysius was already doubting it and, in his mind, it was for good reason. "But Aimee," he protested, his voice rising, "I couldn't--I couldn't even protect that little girl! I didn't help her! She--she was beaten and raped right in front of me and I just did nothing while she screamed and cried and I...I didn't stop them, I could've but I didn't, I just watched, they made me watch, and I didn't do anything, Aimee!" His voice got progressively louder and faster, and by the time he was finished he was nearly in hysterics.
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